What would you do if you were a single mother of two while busy helping to run a large family farm, and you enjoy a blind date with a good-looking, smooth-talking, charismatic guy? What if he makes you feel protected, loved, and desired in bed? If you were Virginia Bennett, you would marry him – and then you would see your life nearly get ruined for welcoming a pathological liar into your family.
Snowed, penned by Virginia, is her raw, honest, and engrossing tale of love gone
so very wrong, revealing how millions of women like her get lured into the controlling, manipulative, and abusive arms of men. Her now ex-husband, Liam,
is one such man.
“I could have lost it all – my family, the land, and my relationship with God,”
“I almost lost it to a person who violated my code of ethics, fabricated his credentials, and whose words meant absolutely nothing,” writes Virginia. “Someone who seemed so polite and educated, and yet, underneath it all, was deceptive and nefarious. During the latter days of our marriage, and on the brink of divorce, Liam O’Connor had made me feel so bad about my family loyalty. He scorned me as if I were doing something wrong to have chosen my family and inheritance over him. In the end, though, I made the right choice. I chose blood and land.”
Her story is a warning shot to women: know who you are getting into bed with.
This memoir captures the essence of what it means to be snowed. She wed a con man of the heart, leaving her to feel she never really knew him. Their dysfunctional relationship made her feel she married an impostor.
Virginia credits her family and faith for getting her through a tumultuous relationship. She writes:
“I was so thankful that God had shown me not to take for granted all that He has given me. God had put obstacles in my path, entrusting me with adversity, in order to bring me close to Him. He gave me the resilience I need to get through the trials. Like a tree that gets pruned after harvest to make it stronger and bear more fruit the following year, God was pruning me so that I would become stronger. I no longer ask why things happen, instead I ask “what for.” By seeing how much someone else wanted what I had, and to what extreme measures they would go to get it, I learned to value my own self-worth, and to never allow one person to have so much control over my soul.”
But Virginia’s path to healing from a compromising relationship took time and at moments, regrets, and insecurities, almost allowed herself to fall back into his trap.
“I suppose some would have been relieved that it was all over, but I still felt huge holes in my heart. I knew that time would eventually heal these wounds. How big the scars would be, I did not know, but I knew that a mile begins with one step. Each night when I went to bed, I told myself, was one teeny, tiny step toward healing. I knew that as sure as the sun would come up the next day, I was guaranteed another step; even if it was a microscopic step, it was still movement forward. That was how I got through the pain. Another way was by writing down the reasons I had divorced Liam. I wrote them down on index cards and kept the cards on my nightstand. I did this to remind myself of his unethical and immoral character. Nighttime was always the worst; it was when I second-guessed myself and felt the most alone. I would read the cards in order to reassure myself that I had done the right thing.”
Snowed concludes with engrossing words that should serve as everyone’s mantra: “I have found that if I can press on one day at a time through despairing situations, sure as the tides will ebb and flow, tomorrow will be a new day. And with each new day comes a new beginning.”
© 2023 Virginia Bennett
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